this post was submitted on 11 May 2024
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"b-but bears are actually dangerous!" Shut the hell up.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I've never been shot or held at gunpoint, but I have have the shit kicked out of me. But still if given the option to face a person with a gun and a person with the bare hands. I don't think I'm going to pick the the guy with a gun.

[–] Sombyr 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

There's a serious difference in the level of trauma between these examples, and the level of exposure to the dangers of the counter. Sexual trauma is a hell of a lot more scarring on your psyche than simply being beaten. In addition, at least in the US we're exposed to gun violence every day as opposed to basically never for bear attacks. Even in other countries with better gun control, you're dramatically more likely to hear about somebody being shot than you are to hear about somebody being mauled by a bear. Not only that, but it's really easy to process "get shot, you're dead." It's not as easy to make yourself believe you're definitely gonna be killed by an animal that has whole guides written on how to survive them.
Those two things combined make your example far from comparable. In addition, I'm not saying in any way that the fear is justified nor that no attempt should be made to fix it, what I'm trying to point out us that people don't realize how intense a fear it really is when they get offended at people making this choice.

Obviously, therapy is important to learning how to handle that fear and think more logically, but if every woman who needs it sought therapy for this, there just aren't enough therapists in the entire world to handle the load. Not even close. So a bigger part of the solution is, y'know, making sure women aren't getting traumatized in the first place. But everybody here wants to skip that part for some reason.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Sexual trauma is a hell of a lot more scarring on your psyche than simply being beaten.

Very hard disagree.

[–] Sombyr 2 points 6 months ago (2 children)

You're free to disagree, but for me and many others, I've been through both, and I'm definitely waaaay more scared of being sexually assaulted again than being beaten half to death again. They have very different effects on your psyche. Physical violence I react far more with anger than fear, even if I was terrified in the moment. When it looks like it's happening again, my brain says "Fight back." When I'm afraid of sexual trauma being relived, my brain says "Escape, now. Can't escape? Submit. Maybe that way they won't kill you too at least."

[–] [email protected] -2 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] -2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

How about you Google the man who's face was eaten by bear and then decide

[–] Sombyr 3 points 6 months ago

How about you miss the entire point and get aggressive for no reason?
Seriously, what kind of response to "I've been traumatized by men" is "you should traumatized by bears too?"