this post was submitted on 17 May 2024
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Food Crimes - Offenses against nutrition
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Welcome to Food Crimes! This community is here to collect all and any post about cursed food and generally unusual consumables.
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I buy squeeze jelly because the campus-affiliated market that I have a meal plan for only sells jelly in squeeze bottles. Though it's nice how it saves a spoon, it's a bit of a pain to operate. Especially the grape flavor.
Shake the everliving shit out of it beforehand. Get all your aggression out. And if it's still being ornery, squeeze from the wide side.
A... A spoon? Why not use the knife you're using for the peanut butter?
I guess I've always considered it poor form to let ingredient containers mix at all. The knife is already covered in peanut butter, so putting it in the jelly container would get a bit of peanut butter on the jelly, and that's no good for some reason.
Also because I find it way easier to scoop jelly with a spoon than a knife.
Wait, why is the knife covered in PB? Didn't you put it on the bread?
I have not yet achieved the level of skill with peanut butter required to get all of it off the knife. Most, yes, but there's still a plainly visible amount left.
Use the other slice of bread like a chamois to wipe it clean. Now the skill is within your grasp.
But then I'm gonna get peanut butter on the bread I'm going to put jelly on. What if the spoon gets contaminated, and then I put it back in the jar for the next person?
...Wait nevermind, that's not a problem, I use a squeeze bottle.
wait, wait, you keep the jelly spoon in the jar?
how deep does this rabbit hole of madness go?!
No, no, just as a kid when multiple of us would be making PBJs in sequence. Whoever's last gets to lick the spoon before it goes in the sink.
Why did the knife go in the pb first? It goes in the jelly, then gets washed off in 2 seconds in the sink, then goes in the pb.
Wait, wait, you put the PB on top of the jelly? Like a jelly sandwich garnished with peanut butter? I don't think I'm understanding you correctly.
What kind of peon eats an open faced pb&j? (Unless it's on toast)
We are definitely talking past each other at this point.
I was at my moms house making my son a sandwich and she admonished me for using a knife in the jam. At first I thought she was worried about peanut allergies (non of our family have a that allergy), but then she claims that knives break up the pectin in jam and only spoons can scoop it without ruining it.
I use a knife in ours almost every day and have never had (good) jam go soupy.
I assume it’s just another bullish “tip” from social media.