Asklemmy

44000 readers

1047 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
[email protected]: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

What's the best wax-on-wax-off-style advice you've heard that you can attest as being helpful in certain situations? (lemm.ee)

submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

39 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 37 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Not sure if this applies, but “You can never love someone else until you love yourself” was a lesson my dad taught me from a very young age.

If you don’t like yourself, you’ll almost inevitably end up with someone who is taking advantage because you won’t be able to stand up for yourself and you won’t speak up when they hurt you.

There are the very rare exceptions, but they are the ones who help you help yourself. Someone who truly helps you will not shower you with gifts or compliments, but rather will help you recognize and change what you don’t like about yourself. In other words, “Only a true friend would be that truly honest.”

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

“If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” -RuPaul

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

Well there are different love languages and not everybody has it in themself to being able to help you change yourself.

Also I think someone insecure about themself would not necessarily be the one being oppressed, I guess they can also end up being toxic.

But I agree with you generally

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

Reminds me of a verse from Social Distortion's "I Was Wrong":

"And I think about my loves, well I've had a few

Well, I'm sorry that I hurt them, did I hurt you too?

I took what I wanted, put my heart on the shelf

But how can you love when you don't love yourself?"