this post was submitted on 31 May 2024
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ADHD
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I got diagnosed last Christmas and started treatment as part of the diagnosis and the changes the medicine did to me are night and day. I started on 20mg Ritalin Uno (methylphenidate modified release). Now I'm on 20mg morning +10mg afternoon.
I still fidget with things constantly about just as much as before but as an engineer this is also how I see the world and do my job the best so I'm happy in a way that it didn't stop completely. The biggest change for me is all the noise in my head have been tuned down so much that I can actually think straight and focus on stuff. Before I felt like a constant blast of 10 radios playing at the same time in my mind all with different topics, tones, music, conversations, anxiety, traumas, hobbies, work etc. Now it's almost gone and I can see and hear clearly what I actually feel and tune into just one at a time. My general mood and mental health has improved significantly since I'm more calm and confident and can take much better decisions and act upon them. I feel like i improved 5 fold on my work and still have a little energy and mental capacity left for myself when i come home.
The best thing is that I now have better abilities to protect, understand and accept myself and my own behaviour. I now have the ability to actually take actions to improve. As an example I used to get stuck on YouTube shots for hours and hours but actually took the action the other day to protect myself and it is now blocked on my phone so I simply just can't go there anymore. I also stopped many other small dumb routines and finding a way to get out of them and stay focused on what I actually want to be doing.
Remaining symptoms is probably hyper focusing (like writing this post way too long compared to what it needs to be) but I'm better at steering the focus now. It's also stil completely Impossible for me to remember names, dates and future plans unless written down and checked multiple times. Also still going to bed waaay to late because brain is racing in the evening sometimes if the medicine wears off early. Depression is also still lurking around in the background, threatening to show itself but I'm getting better and better everyday as I'm slowly finding my new self.
Eddit. Forgot to mention that I also tried concerta 36mg but it absolutely did not work for me even though its supposed to be tye same. I got drowsy, had sleep issues with insomnia. Felt dizzy at random times during the day making it dangerous to drive. Got extremely tired when I got home and fell asleep on the couch because of dopamine crash just to be absolutely unable to sleep at night regardles of what I did. Ritalin is releasing much more precise for me and doesn't linger around for too long to cause sleep issues. I sleep sooo much better than i have ever done when I'm on Ritalin.