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No-win scenario (lemmy.world)

submitted 5 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 5 months ago (12 children)

I was taught a long time ago a simple idea ... Men hear a problem and try to solve it...”i don't know x" ok let me teach you" or "I can't get this thing to work" ok let me try if I can.

Women on initial compliant some times just want to know that you know they are struggling. Instead of "let me teach you” you could say "I'm sure you will understand" or "I know it's difficult but you got this".

Yes it varies by person some men prefer the latter and some women prefer the former. As with most things it's up to you to know your partner and what they want...

[–] noli 32 points 5 months ago (3 children)

I don't recall where I heard this advice but someone once told me that when he's in this situation he asks his SO "do you want solutions or to vent?" Probably doesn't work for everyone but I liked the idea

[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Sometimes that works other times it gets so much worse

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago

Presume they want to vent.

Someone who wants to vent gets mad if you try to explain.

Someone who wants and explanation won't get mad if you talk to them if they want to vent.

Take the safe bet everytime.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

yea, it could definitely sound passive-aggressive

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

Yup some idea. I think I heard it on Reddit but you put it succinctly.

Anyone else reading this keep in mind this changes with partners and situations and maybe by day...without specific examples with lot of details it's hard to tell. If you don't know, ask kindly.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

I'm pretty sure I've given this advice at some point on Reddit before.

Personally I know my SO well enough to know when it's just venting. I don't usually need to ask anymore.

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