this post was submitted on 10 Jun 2024
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It's okay. Had another dream where my mom inexplicably comes back from the dead. She even joked about how we'd have to reevaluate how we think of the situation. It's wild how going back to sleep before my alarm can just ruin the rest of my week. There's a lump in my throat that just won't go away. I feel guilty writing these thoughts out, hell I'm tearing up now because I know so many other people have real problems and there's this fucking election, and my wife's work is so much more difficult than mine and I haven't a leg to complain upon.
poem
I wish
to beat my fists against this desk
until they are bruised and bloody
for that is something
I may yet control
Thank you for allowing me to vent. Much love to you all.
i feel fortunate to have both of my parents still with me. Not sure how far out you are from that loss, but my understanding is that it's a grief that never leaves you. My best friend lost their dad 5 years ago, and they STILL have enough feelings about it to fill an entire poetry book (after previously filling a separate poetry book in the 2 years immediately after).
you're still allowed to be sad about it and have a hard week about it, no matter how long ago it happened <3
Thanks coy, I really do appreciate you taking the time to send some kindness my way. And that's true, it does get easier but it never really goes away, nor should it I guess. You're good people <3
When my dad passed away a few years ago, a friend who had been through the same described it to me as waves of grief that get further apart. I've found that to be true. Your mom will always be with you but also not, and that absence can be incredibly painful sometimes.