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She doesn't use the word "woke" in it even once. I also don't think the person posting it has anything to do with the company.
You're going to ignore the entire thrust of the marketing because of the absence of one word?
The title of the article is intentionally misleading readers for clicks and rage bait. They're not calling it "anti-woke water", thedailybeast is. The name of the brand is Freedom2o. Is freedom anti-woke?
They're even talking about how their water is good for the environment.
Sounds pretty woke to me!
Are you on the spectrum? I ask because your "but it isn't 100% literally this thing" is the sort of overly pedantic and literalist thing I would do myself.
Would it make you feel better if you noted that the scrolling red banner at the top of the website does in fact have "this water ain't woke" among other similar sayings? And there is a "This drink ain't woke" Yeti cooler.
Does that help?
Very likely.
I went to their website and did not see such banner but if that indeed is the case then that's all the proof I need to admit I was wrong.
Does it make me feel better? No, it makes me feel sad.