this post was submitted on 17 Jun 2024
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You probably can’t stop those squirrels, unfortunately.
But you may be able to turn the situation to some benefit anyway. Surrounding the strawberry bed with an elaborate and complexifying system of hampster tunnels, levers, and puzzles, you can harness the motivational power of their strawberry habit to teach the squirrels anything you want: ethics, music, ideological fervor, math, anything.
The world really is your oyster, so long as you teach the squirrels to crack it open for you.
This might even be the first day of your second career.