this post was submitted on 17 Jun 2024
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Star Wars
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Rumor has it the new movie will feature a large moon-sized planet-destroying space station. There will also be a desert planet with a young naive yet promising force user. Someone will wield a lightsaber with a design we haven’t seen before. Space bombers will have to fly “over” an enemy ship in space in order to “drop” bombs on it. One of the new creatures will have eyes that look like anuses, or a mouth that looks like a pussy. The main antagonist will be annoying and act like a man-child. There will be doubt that someone can “train up” in time to fight a bad guy. Someone will survive the vacuum of space. A new force trick will be shown. Someone’s face will be replaced by AI. A previously unseen type of droid sidekick will be unveiled. A possession belonging to someone from the original trilogy will be mentioned and displayed with reverence. Something that has never needed explaining will be explained. Something that has long needed an explanation will be glossed over in a confusing way. An interesting new character will have nearly all of their scenes cut. The emperor will return.