Alt text: a text post that reads: Work in retail long enough, and you'll eventually realize the rules for dealing with Customers are exactly the same as dealing with the Fae:
- Avoid eye contact.
- Never reveal your full name.
- Accept nothing They offer you.
- Never verbally agree or disagree with anything They might happen to say.
- To apologize is to acknowledge a debt owed.
- Under no circumstances are you ever to thank Them.
- Remember that They are incapable of reading signs in human languages.
I've been that guy at a computer store. Had already found what I needed on my own since I was quite familiar with the store and was browsing a different isle to look at the shinies. Overheard a customer ask a salesperson what the difference between product x and y was, which were marked very similarly on the box but one was something like 30-50% more.
I noticed the salesperson become quite unsure of what this specific technical difference was, so I added the quick TLDR paragraph of what the generalized difference was and what words the manufacturers use to differentiate them (since there were several product pairs that matched both classes elsewhere on the isle).
Customer says "oh ok that makes sense". I forget which one he decided on (I think it might have been the more expensive one kek), but the salesperson put his commission tracking sticker on the selected box and the customer wandered away, hopefully happy. Salesperson turns to me sheepishly "Um..... I guess you probably don't need help?" I responded "No, I'm just browsing, but do you want to put your sticker on this gizmo I found in the bargain bin over there?" He seemed happy with this arrangement, adds the commission sticker, and we part ways.
.......did I inadvertently make a pact with a different type of fae?
you the fae
chaotic good fae, bound by their nature to help anyone they reasonably can
great idea for a paladin honestly:
No patron, just their inherent nature that compels them to do good and they level up from doing good. Bonus points if they're slightly reluctant about it, but like it is their nature so they still like doing it but every time they see someone struggling with something they and their party sighs because they have to spend 10 minutes helping out unless they can come up with a good excuse not to.