this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2024
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Self-diagnosis doesn't help with relationships IMHO either and I mean that both from a personal and professional perspective.
Why you might ask?
YMMV but for me, I am an open book. Having the diagnosis meant I could talk to bosses when trying a new med, or explain to them when struggling. Knowing the diagnosis means you immediately diffuse an aspect of a challenge. For me, that has been immensely valuable.
Edit - wanted to add a common counterpoint is don't let work know because you can't predict people who will use your honesty against you. I will argue assholes are assholes and you can't live your life at the possibility someone will be a dick. Most people are good people. Trust on that.
Unofficial/self diagnosis helped me in my personal relationships.
I mentioned to my partner that a doctor friend thought I had ADHD, and it really helped them not take some of my most annoying traits personally.
I get where you're coming from with needing an official diagnosis for work accommodations, but none of your friends are really going to demand to see a doctor's note, so why would personal relationships depend on an official diagnosis?
The same reasons as from a professional experience. Yes they aren't going to pull the doctor's note but neither is work IMHO. What it does is provide more weight behind your words of "hey I'm not just googling this shit. I'm not just an insufferable asshole looking to validate that I am. I'm actually working with a psychologist."
Friends, just like coworkers, etc. care less of the diagnosis. They want to know you're working on you because I'd argue writ large people want to see you succeed. A self-diagnosis can help but it doesn't give you access to all the tools you may need to succeed so from the outside I would argue that official diagnosis matters. It means you now have someone else on your "team" be it a GP or a psychologist or whatever helping you navigate things.