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I invested in one of those super fancy "smart" toilets with built-in bidet and hot air drying.
I used to work for the manufacturer and got a big discount on it before I left. It has a lots of overkill functions but damn I love that thing: Night light, dedicated remote, smell absorbing filter, mobile app, automatic flushing, sensor operated seat.
Its the fanciest thing I own.
what's on the app? profiles for different butts? live feedback from a down-under camera? AI stool analysis?
I have a bidet with the functions he mentions other than auto flush as it installs on a standard American toilet. You scoff, but profiles probably are a thing.
Mine has a remote that probably does what his app does. It controls:
I promise there's no scoffing here! I love my analog bidet, and am always on the lookout for an upgrade, if the price is right. Especially if it can be fitted to a standard american toilet.
Happily taking recommendations, if you have any. The features you listed sound refreshing, relaxing, and somewhat intimidating. Which, to be clear, I'm into.