this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2024
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I'm going to over a possible counter view, with the caveat that I don't know your specific situation.
I'm not a big guy, in fact, I don't see myself as a guy at all. Certainly I don't think of myself as intimidating in any way. And yet, I've come to learn over the years that when I get upset/angry, people absolutely do find it threatening. It's a hard thing to understand because it doesn't match my self image at all, and it's not something I can control. I feel like, "Who could possibly be intimidated by me?? I'm just a little nonbinary entity!" But for whatever reason, they do, and I'm in the process of learning how to adjust my expectations accordingly.
I'm actually pretty big, six feet tall with a big booming voice. It's not out of the question that somebody who doesn't know me could be intimidated by me. But I guarantee you the person I'm thinking of isn't actually scared or feeling unsafe. Uncomfortable, maybe, since I can be moody, but we've worked together for years and they know I'm also a big fucking pussy who wouldn't hurt a fly and in fact goes out of his way to rescue bugs from other people before they can smash them. I plucked a live bee off a coworker so I could place it on the flowers outside once.