alternative post title: how can I grow a thicker skin, so I simply stop caring what my coworkers think or say?
I'm still looking for a drama free workplace and I don't understand why people seem to enjoy creating chaos out of nowhere
Working in several industries, I've met:
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white Christian nationalist: too many Arabs and Mexicans in our country, somebody should send them all back to where they belong, and I'm very Christian. This was 5 minutes after meeting me for the first time. Why even tell this to a coworker?
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Married woman complaining to me about how her husband isn't so affectionate nowadays: 2 minutes after meeting me for the first time. Who does that? Shouldn't you tell this to somebody you trust, like a friend and not a stranger you met 2 minutes ago?
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An anti vaxxer trying to convert me to his cause, or however you want to call it.
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And just today: 'it's good that Trump was shot' Why would a sane person blurt that out in the middle of our pause for everyone to hear you? Why do you need to antagonize your coworkers? This was a manager btw.
I have waaaaay more examples, but I'll keep it simple.
I just want to work and go home. Completely drama free. I don't want to care what coworkers think, but apparently I'm very thin skinned and I'm easy to be triggered. Each of the examples I wrote triggered me: I wanted to yell 'fck off, you piece of sht, I don't give a f*ck what you think, leave me alone', or something like that. But I need the job.
My conundrum: If this happens at every workplace, wouldn't it make more sense to stay with the devil you know?
Unless, of course, you've job hopped till you found a drama free workplace... please tell me how you did it.
I want to be the old guy who doesn't give a f*ck about stuff like this, yet it still triggers me.
This is really the secret. Many years ago, I learned a wonderful phrase:
Fuck you and the camel that came on you.
Once you learn to adopt that attitude, whatever some idiot says becomes far less important to your life. There will only ever be one person in this world whom you can really control, and that's you. For everyone else, you can either try to convince them of stuff or accept that they aren't worth the effort and move on. The latter option tends to get used a lot more.
If you can, just avoid the shitty coworkers. You won't always be able to; so, when you have to deal with them, just keep the conversations short, professional, to the point, and then excuse yourself. A simple, "sorry, I really need to get back to work" often works wonders. Also, keep work and personal lives separate. Learn to leave work at work, and that includes the people (unless you find someone who is actually worth making a personal friend of). Once you get home, stop thinking about Mr. Shitty McShitface and go do something you enjoy. Work to live, don't live to work.
I would also recommend taking a hard look in a mirror. Sure, you might actually be surrounded by assholes, at the same time if you feel like exploding at people for every idiotic thing which dribbles out of their mouth, then you're probably an asshole too. Stop trying to "fix" or control everyone around you and just accept that you can't. Life gets far easier when you realize that they aren't your problem. If you're doing things right, you should be job hopping every few years anyway. Your pay will stagnate and fall behind if you don't. So, in a couple years, those idiots won't even be around you anymore.
So, how do you "grow a thicker skin"? It's tough and takes practice. But, just keep putting in the effort to not give a fuck . Eventually, it becomes a reflex and you'll find yourself with No More Fucks to Give.