this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2024
583 points (98.3% liked)
Programmer Humor
32328 readers
219 users here now
Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)
Rules:
- Posts must be relevant to programming, programmers, or computer science.
- No NSFW content.
- Jokes must be in good taste. No hate speech, bigotry, etc.
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Okay, this nerd sniped me super hard. Sure you can spend it on a big massive project like a mansion or whatever, but you aren't going to be able to have it finished (and thus paid for) in a month.
Not too mention if you do want to drop that much money at one, there'll be many checks in place. Your bank will block your account for "suspicious activity". The person who you are paying will probably want to run a background check or just refuse to take payment up front.
You'd have to justify where you got that money from as well, most likely, and saying a "genie" probably would get you some strange looks and perhaps arrested.
I legit don't know how you'd actually get rid of that much money in a month.
Stocks, bonds, annuities
Arguably gambling.
GICs then!
Edit: looks like GICs are only guaranteed up to $100,000.
But honestly if you consider stocks and bonds to be gambling then you could really argue that buying anything is a gamble. Buy $100 million worth of onions and the price will go up due to scarcity, then try to sell them. Someone actually did this years ago and made a ton of money while bankrupting a lot of farmers and investors. The government responded by banning the trading of onion futures!
All this is to say it’s actually impossible to fulfill the genie’s rules if you take into account market fluctuations on the price of anything you buy.