this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2024
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[–] [email protected] -3 points 3 months ago (11 children)

You're being downvoting because people believe in the "romantic ideal" and never analyzed how relationships really look like for a large number of people.

What you write about is not a good thing but unfortunately that's how most people practice relationships.

Well "most" might be a too strong of a qualifier. Depends a lot on the culture. If you come from a culture where marriage is so important that's almost mandatory, the above kind of relationship is inevitable.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (10 children)

Some of those cons could be true, but I think the bigger problem is that they only listed "sex and money" as the only pros.

What are you doing in a relationship if that person isn't basically a really good friend that you can laugh with, do hobbies with, watch and talk about movies with, share music with, etc.

Sure you might have to hang out with mutual friends you don't love (Though a good partner won't force you to). You do need to spend time on their hobbies and likes if you don't specifically share them. I'm not sure if I can vouch for the rest, though, those are some cons where you need to be really selective and find like minds to be with (don't like to speak very often).

the other two (manipulated for sex, fear of divorce) are more like things you should go to therapy to learn not to tolerate or worry about, respectively.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Absolutely, I agree with you completely. And I actually believe finding a life partner is possible. There are good examples out there.

It's just when you come from a, let's call it heteronormative (word of the day) environment, you are constantly pressured into being in a relationship. With anyone. Doesn't matter if you want it. It leads to awful mental health.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

That and if the idea of being lonely frightens you or makes you sad it can be easy to want to latch onto anyone, that's really easy to fall into.

Also, unless they meant fear of breaking up, there's no need to fear being divorced if you just don't get married. Not everybody wants or needs to get married, that also sort of falls into the "take your time and really assess the partner" idea

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