A common trope I see in atheist circles are people (often claiming to be atheists themselves, and I'm sure many genuinely are) going around chiding other atheists for being mean, rude, or otherwise disrespectful to believers. It's counterproductive! It doesn't work! It paints us in a bad light!
Often enough, these criticisms are an example of concern trolling, someone telling us what to do because they don't agree with what we're trying to do. Greta Christina correctly pointed out that when they do us, they're trying to get us to lay down the weapons we use to fight back against what's done to us. They're trying to get us to surrender our power.
Atheists are often caustic, sarcastic, and generally unpleasant with believers. I built up quite a reputation for snark in my days on reddit, and I have no doubt I'll continue that tradition on lemmy. Why is that? Because reciprocity is a fundamental aspect of morality. We give back what we get, and in places like the US atheists are not treated very well. So a lot of atheists will either hide or they'll fight back. Personally, I switch between them depending on my mood and circumstances. I also observe that for centuries, atheists did their best to stay quiet and get along without any reduction in the abuse they received. This quote comes from Madalyn Murray O'Hair, the founder of American Atheists:
I'll tell you what you did with Atheists for about 1500 years. You outlawed them from the universities or any teaching careers, besmirched their reputations, banned or burned their books or their writings of any kind, drove them into exile, humiliated them, seized their properties, arrested them for blasphemy. You dehumanised them with beatings and exquisite torture, gouged out their eyes, slit their tongues, stretched, crushed, or broke their limbs, tore off their breasts if they were women, crushed their scrotums if they were men, imprisoned them, stabbed them, disembowelled them, hanged them, burnt them alive.
And you have nerve enough to complain to me that I laugh at you.
So what's the point in being a dick to believers? It can have more utility than people realize. Sometimes being a dick to dickish people helps contain them. Sometimes there's utility in tactical dickishness. This is a problem that needs to be attacked from multiple different angles, not just the one that you think best.
I think Daniel Dennett said it best:
I listen to all these complaints about rudeness and intemperateness, and the opinion that I come to is that there is no polite way of asking somebody: have you considered the possibility that your entire life has been devoted to a delusion? But that’s a good question to ask. Of course we should ask that question and of course it’s going to offend people. Tough.
Sure, I'm an asshole. I never claimed otherwise. But I'm not always an asshole. That's the point I'm trying to make.
To assert that it is never appropriate to be an asshole is just as bad as always being an asshole. I'm not trying to justify why I'm an asshole. It's part of who I am and I accept it. But if you're going to tell me that I'm wrong because you don't like how I approach this issue, all you're going to get from me are headpats and a hearty "good for you!"
There's no single way to approach this. Always being nice doesn't work. Always being a dick doesn't work either. Finding some middle ground is essential, because letting believers have their way at our expense doesn't do anyone any favors. Sometimes we have to stand up and stick up for our rights, and that's how change is created.
You don't have to agree. Just don't expect me to show you much respect if you get in my way.