ADHD

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A casual community for people with ADHD

Values:

Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.

Rules:

No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments.
No porn, gore, spam, or advertisements allowed.
Do not request for donations.
Do not link to other social media or paywalled content.
Do not gatekeep or diagnose.
Mark NSFW content accordingly.
No racism, homophobia, sexism, ableism, or ageism.
Respectful venting, including dealing with oppressive neurotypical culture, is okay.
Discussing other neurological problems like autism, anxiety, ptsd, and brain injury are allowed.
Discussions regarding medication are allowed as long as you are describing your own situation and not telling others what to do (only qualified medical practitioners can prescribe medication).

Encouraged:

Funny memes.
Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
Questions on confusing situations.
Seeking and sharing support.
Engagement in our values.

Relevant Lemmy communities:

Neurodivergent Life Hacks

lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

Never finished degree and I feel stuck/suicidal over it (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I started uni 2014 and I've still yet to finish it because of life BS. Dealing with depression / ADHD has made finishing my degree seem impossible for me to do and I feel like an absolute failure everyday because of it. I wasted many semesters attempting clases and then dropping out when my grades weren't good.

My parents both graduated by their early 20s and had me at 23; I'll be 29 soon and I still live with them working at a Walmart to make ends meet and even with that I'm about to be fired for poor performance. I feel depressed being there because I was given everything in life to be successful and yet I wasted my 20s away being depressed / suicidal. All of my friends all have graduated long ago and have better jobs and I get envious seeing them being successful. All I think about is splattering my brains all over the wall.

I don't have a plan to follow, every day I'm just hating myself for wasting my best years over stupid shit instead of focusing.

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Hey man, I am 33 and I feel like I wasted lots of years not being social, during Uni for example, not living my life enough due to low confidence and social anxiety, now my friends have their kids, married for a while etc, while I do have my career at a good place I can relate to your feelings.

First of all, stop comparing yourself to others, nothing ever good comes out of that, you can look at them for motivation, ask them for advice how to achieve something, but stop comparing yourself, everyone goes at their own pace.

I also had terrible anxiety during Uni, leaving everything to last minute, major anxiety during finals, barely got through it, but do you know what we call medical students who finish last in their class? Doctor. University is nothing, you know basically nothing after finish it, for most things it makes 0 difference whether you finish it with a B+ average or a D-, no one has ever asked me what grades I got in Uni (though I am in software development so YMMV).

Second of all have you considered not finishing Uni at all? Plenty of well paying jobs out there, something that might even make you happy. Trade jobs. Don't fall victim to the sunk cost fallacy of having finish something because you already invested so much time and effort into it.

And lastly, get in touch with a professional, whatever you are going through is temporary, life is awesome, but short, focus on the positives, don't waste it worrying about meaningless shit like degrees and status and how others are doing, you do you mate.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

This is all spot on. Listen to this kind internet soul.

If you don't want to finish uni, nothing wrong with not doing it. "To get a good job you have to finish college" is total bullshit, and so is "do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life".

Find a career that interests you if you can, but more importantly go a route that will let you lead the life you want. So you can work and then have time for your hobbies.

So many trades are well paying and you might find them more interesting than they seem on the surface. For me, making things (physical and software) tickles my lizard brain and for you that could be electrical work, mechanic work, software, plumbing, engineering, sales, etc.

Some will need a degree, some won't but one day you will find something in between "I don't hate my job" and "this is awesome work". That is where you want to be. Then you can figure out if you like hiking, building models, wood working, gaming, fitness things, disc golf, reading, golf golf, etc and

Life's not a race but you only get the one so make sure youre doing what works for you. What works for you can be shockingly hard to figure out but its worth time putting in the effort to do so.

Definitely get professional help. Its scary to talk to someone or even tell your parents you think you need to but its worth it. Therapy really helped me out. Good luck and remember you're not alone!