this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2024
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[โ€“] [email protected] 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"Hi, we detected high levels of melanin in this video. This is illegal, and we are sending around trained professionals to subdue you. Please listen to this soothing music as you wait."

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

"The police have been dispatched. Please lay on the floor in the ass beating receiving position and avoid any sudden movements such as sitting in your recliner or taking a nap."