this post was submitted on 01 Oct 2024
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My mother passive aggressively bullied me regarding potential love interests to the point I was absolutely terrified of even mentioning boys from my class as dealing with her unfounded teasing was unbearable. This didn't help at all with my romantic relationships, I was always lacking in support in the area as I turned the topic into a taboo during my adolescent years, at home in particular.
As for my father it's not much what he did but what he didn't do. He's one of the smartest men I've ever met, he is good at managing his finances and networking yet he never gave me much support or pushed me to achieve anything in these areas - when he did it was briefly in the form of criticism. Again, this also snowballed into an adulthood problem I'm still grappling with.
I'm a guy but I had a very similar experience with my mother basically making it an embarassment to talk or let alone date anyone. I missed out on a lot of things before I realized that what was going on wasn't normal.
And then they wonder why you don't tell them things about your life, like what your hobbies are (if you are even able to enjoy hobbies anymore) or what you're enjoying.
I do have hobbies and enjoy them, but I tend to hide everything from them, even meaningless things.
What pisses me off mostly is how much I missed out on when I was younger for her stupid ideas, things like "you want a wife from your city", "but she's black!" (yes, I'm into black women), "he's gay, if you go out with him everyone will think you're gay", "the trip is too long", shit like that...
Thatβs horrible and a great way at making sure your child hides their love life and possibly makes impulsive and dangerous decisions.
My parents pulled out a pack of condoms from my toiletries bag one time I visited for the weekend during university and my dad mocked me for having them.
That first paragraph pretty much summarizes my love life, fortunately I'm not one for dangerous but plenty of stupid.
I'm sorry that happened to you. I know the feeling :(
Really doesn't sound bad at all compared to most people out there. Especially without concrete examples.
This isn't a contest. OP asked what was the worst, and this is it for me. It's damaging enough for me, and it's very hard to give concrete examples because it was damage over time. Personality also plays a role; it's possible that other kids in my shoes wouldn't have felt this as something too damaging, everyone is different.
Both my parents have been very supportive and nurturing in almost every other aspect but those I mentioned. I know there are some horrific stories out there, I hope yours isn't one of them.
All I asked for was specific examples