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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Outrageous_Size_62 on 2023-08-01 22:37:11.
My youngest son "Ian" (15M) and his boyfriend "Keith" (16M) snuck out to a party Saturday night and apparently got pretty wasted. They somehow managed to get to my oldest son's "Joseph's" (20M) apt sometime around 4 am.
Instead of calling me or having Keith call his parents he instead let them sleep it off at his house. And I didn't get a call till sometime around 10 that morning from Joseph's girlfriend to come pick them up. I was furious.. After picking up the boys , giving them a good talking to , and dropping Keith off at his parent's. I called Joseph and asked why he didn't call me or Keith's parents the moment they showed up or took them home himself. He tells me that it was better they slept it off there and he had to go to work 7 in the morning.
I screamed at him that wasn't his decision and I had been worried sick waking up in the morning and not knowing where Ian was. That he shoulda called me their father. Joseph' tried to get me to calm down and told me that this what he was trying to avoid me blowing up at Ian. This got me hot I yelled at him that I didn't give a damn what he was trying to avoid that I'm the dad and that he should have called me because anything could have happened.. He tried to apologize and I just told him I'd talk to him later. Ian ran up to his room after we got home but not before saying that Joseph' was just trying to protect him and that I went way overboard on him calling him at work like that. AITA?
Yes, YTA. Ian shouldn't be sneaking out to go drinking at 15, but he was responsible enough to go to Joseph's apartment instead of staying someplace unsafe. Ian is the one that you can be mad at, not Joseph. Joseph was nice enough to take care of your son, who was clearly less afraid of his brother than you, and made sure that you would be contacted via his girlfriend. He let Ian recover from the worst of the alcohol before sending him home, and that speaks volumes about how you parent your children.
Thank Joseph for looking out for his brother, and calmly ask him to send you a text sooner next time. Ask Ian why he snuck out, and avoid over-punishing (he will do it again).