this post was submitted on 02 Aug 2023
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I had exactly the same experience. Gave so much of my time to my own detriment to help others feel safe and offer solidarity but was completely taken advantage of left to fend for myself once I needed some help and safety in return. My lesson learned, keep giving. Keep helping. Just be very selective of where and with whom. People I actually truly cared for were bitching about me and suggesting because I was trans I was having a hard time. Fuck that, it's because they were a bunch of ungraetful bitches. They're all on my resentment list. I'm getting over it but fuck it's still annoying.
I helped a work colleague get their license by letting them drive my car a couple of time this week as practise and wondered if I was getting myself into a similar situation, but they are giving me some money for petrol, are very humbly thankful and it's been incredibly well recieved by my superiors. The difference this time is sobriety. People say a lot of shit they think they mean when they're drunk. I still have faith in humanity, but I have much stronger boundaries now of who I let in. First red flag and all bets are off.
It's sad and disappointing when you think you could be nice and they'd reciprocate but really they can't give a shit about you and maybe laugh at you behind your back for being naive. It's also sad that these bad experiences leave you wondering if others are going to be the same and you just end up being less trusting.
Most people are selfish and enititled. They'll say whatever bullshit they think will make them seem reasonable in order to gain some small pathetic, little, imagined benefit.