Gay: News, Memes and Discussion

1856 readers

203 users here now

Welcome to /c/Gay - Your LGBTQ+ Haven

We're more than just a community; we're your haven for celebrating LGBTQ+ culture and connecting with like-minded individuals.

Community Rules:

~ 1. No bigotry. Hating someone off of their race, culture, creed, sexuality, or identity is not remotely acceptable. Mistakes can happen but do your best to respect others.

~ 2. Keep it civil. Disagreements will happen. That's okay! Just don't let it make you forget that the person you are talking to is also a person.

~ 4. Keep it LGBTQ+ related. This one is kind of a gimme but keep as on topic as possible.

~ 5. Keep posts to a limit. We all love posts but 3-4 in an hour is plenty enough.

~ 6. Try to not repost. Mistakes happen, we get it! But try to not repost anything from within the past 1-2 months.

~ 7. No General AI Art. Posts of simple AI art do not 'inspire jamaharon' and fuck over our artist friends.

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

when and how did you know you were gay? (lemm.ee)

submitted 2 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

10 comments fedilink hide all child comments

mine was when i was 13. i always thought one of my friends in middle school was good looking…too good looking. a month later we had a sleepover and he took his shirt and shorts off to change… and that confirmed it. side note, did anyone else find the guys on underwear really hot? when i get new underwear, i kinda can’t help but stare at it for a bit until i remember that i’m in public and people could notice that i’m staring. also, i’ve recently fully accepted myself as gay and that’s really helped me mentally. for a few years i would beat myself up about it out of shame. anyways, i was just curious about when and how you found out you were gay?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

When I was in grade school, I would always struggle to figure out which boys I had crushes on. I kind of thought all the girls were just making it up.

I was raised conservatively and you were just supposed to be with a man if you were a woman. Everyone seemed to hate their spouse, so I thought no woman really LIKED men. They smell bad, they don't groom themselves well, and they don't care about your interests. (For the fellas reading this, I know many men aren't like this! This was just my experience and perception in a small town in a red state in the 90s.)

Women, though. They were just so pretty. And cute.

After puberty hit, it got so much worse. I wanted to have sex with them, but it's not real sex since there is no man. (More of my environment influencing my thoughts here.) My self esteem was very low, and I didn't think any women would want me, so I settled for men. I did have sex with a few women but they would ignore me and pretend nothing happened afterwards.

It finally clicked when I was 16. I dated this one girl that was truly awful to me, so I thought that maybe it wasn't worth it. I shoved the gay feelings back inside. Why stray from "the default", since it's easier and still sucks anyway?

After horrible relationships with both men and women, I finally was out to myself at 26. I realized that men and women (and everyone else) have the potential to be horrible, amazing, or anything in between. Any partners I choose should be good to me. And when I allowed myself to consider anyone, I would only ever consider women or nonbinary folks.