Curated Tumblr

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Take that, atheists (files.catbox.moe)

submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 weeks ago

Well, if a pitcher pitches a baby, the baby is likely dead regardless if it's going to make it all the way to the batter. Whether the impact with your bat or the catcher's mitt is what ultimately causes the baby to die seems to me to be an unimportant detail.

That said, since the baby is entirely unaerodynamic, it's going to move a lot more slowly than a regular baseball, meaning there's a chance you could save the baby by bunting (especially if you avoid the head), and if you assume the catcher has an ounce of humanity, they'll probably be more concerned with checking on the baby rather than tagging the runner coming from third or throwing you out at first base.

So here are the options as I see it:

bunt
hit it hard - nobody is going to catch a mangled baby
refuse and take the L - irrational since the baby is a goner regardless

I'd go with 1, it's the most humane, and probably no less likely to succeed vs 2.