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Look, I get where you and others are coming from. But the thing about depression and suicide is that it’s not a one-size-fits-all thing. It comes in all shapes, sizes, and forms.
You’d be surprised how many people you might know who are depressed and/or suicidal, but look normal. There is a Grand Canyon sized stigma to being depressed and suicidal, and a lot of people will do everything they can to mask it so that they aren’t a burden to their family and friends.
I know, because I speak from decades of experience.
I understand what you mean. There is an important point here though; we're not talking about friends, coworkers, that random barista, or anyone else finding out about you after the fact. We're talking about parents and their kid.
And I'm not saying it is easy either. But it is the role of parents to look after their kid when they're young. Nobody's saying that's easy, and nobody's saying that some random busybody should have seen the sign. We're talking about people that should have been the closest and the most warry about this situation.
It certainly is possible to miss it. But if the closest, most concerned, most incentivized to care people are not enough to at least have some fleeting suspicion about their kid's behavior, then we may as well pull the collective plug of our specie outta the wall.