this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2024
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What does that mean about your preference with the use of "do you mind"-like questions?
Yes?
Seriously though, the 'do you mind' questions like the one in the comic are really annoying to me because they are a two part question phrased for the part they don't care about. It makes the answer confusing depending on whether it is tsken literally or not, since sometimes it is used that way.
"Do you mind if I use...' is asking both if you can use and if the person minds. The general social expectation is that the person won't admit to minding, and will allow the use. So in this comic catwoman is answering yes to using the bathroom, and not answering whether she cares, because the question is being asked indirectly in this context.
The 'do you mind' question a great example of why many neurodivergent people have such a hard time in social settings, keeping track of all of the contradictory social expectations that don't make sense is tiring and not everyone is consistent.
Circumvent. "Do you mind?"
"Go ahead" or "I'd rather you didn't."
Yes! Thank you very much. It's at least a triple-effect because (1) we get confused about what the response means so we have to focus on solving the riddle, (2) solving the riddle consumes more mental energy so we have less in reserve, and (3) we miss out on everything that occured while we were figuring out the riddle so we have to catch up when we already run slower.