this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2024
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I understand the anger at the statements. They are visceral and immediately labelling. I've found that it is good to understand these taglines as simplified mantras, such as "don't talk to the police". It is meant as a heuristic for women's safety, and so long as you understand that you yourself aren't dangerous, the tagline does not apply to you. It also lets you know exactly where women are coming from: why they only use the restroom in groups, why they aren't going to give you an outright answer most of the time, and why they will keep their distance until they know you.
I'd argue that these behaviors should not be gender-coded and should be practiced by both men and women, and that vilification of violent outbursts , and similar sexist tropes, should also not only apply to men. It is explicitly sexism which puts this barrier up, where women being violent is downplayed, and men who use women's playbooks are viewed as less masculine.
These are issues of the same coin, which is a divide created by both genders applying different stereotypes to one another and then operating based on those stereotypes
I find it's also helpful to look at such "taglines" for what they are, generalizations. It just so happens that when we generalize about women it's sexist, when we generalize about races it's racist, and when we generalize about men it's "just a tagline." I know men aren't supposed to admit we have feelings or else we're weak, but we do. I've been cheated on 3 times and raped twice, all 5 were by different women, does that give me licence to ~~generalize~~ "create taglines" like "Women are trash?" Hell, I can't even use the word "female" to the degree where I sometimes write "males... and women..." instead, lest I be crucified as a pariah, but if I call out "Men are trash," literally, I'm still seen as in the wrong.
No. Something's gotta give, can't have it both ways. Either women's "taglines" are bad too or men can also generalize about women. Personally I lean towards "generalizations are stupid, tagline or not, and basically by using them you hurt yourself (your movement) in your confusion like a goddamn magikarp."