Just musing here, I've been a proponent of new ether theories the past few years and so there's some assumptions that go into this.
- Spacetime is a fixed grid with planck-length-cubed voxels.
- Information can travel through the grid at 1 planck-length per planck-second.
- Particles evolve from this grid to perform some function, typically related to self-propagation.
I would posit that the big bang theory makes no sense. A tiny spec of everything which may or may not be finite just kinda gesundheit's itself into existence for no particular reason and then sputters out over trillions of years.
Nah I'm with Max Tegmark, we're an information set, since everything in physics really boils down to information anyhow. What makes more sense to me is if the big bang is instead a white hole, spewing information from some source of random information, possibly the digits of pi or some such.
Back to ether theory, the Permittivity of Free Space can be looked at as the inverse and called the "Electric Tension" [Roychoudhuri 2021]. This is the fundamental resistance of space to accept new information, and conducting Roychoudhuri's experiment (Michelson/Morely in hard vacuum) could verify that this is indeed the bedrock of reality.
So back to a graviton, what would it need to do?
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Undetectable. The graviton must be smaller than a photon and much smaller than an electron. The diameter of an electron seems to be 10^20 Planck-Lengths.
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Emitted from all massive particles.
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Carries information about where the massive particle that emitted it is.
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Collides with larger particles, with the negative direction vector being the source of the emission.
So what about the particles? Well an electron is ~~(10^20)^3~~ 10^20-cubed voxels, so there is room for extremely complex structures in there, and I would posit that massive particles (and photons) exhibit intelligence and try to survive. What would they use gravitons for?
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Emitting gravitons causes the particle to decay. Absorbing gravitons prevents this decay, therefore it is advantageous for the particles to move close together, as this increases the absorption of gravitons.
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The direction vectors of incoming gravitions are summed up and the direction with the most mass is where the particle tries to go.
So what do you think? Do gravitons exist? If they do they're basically the particles shooting spit balls at each other. We can talk about time dilation next.
From your first 3 points:
Big bang theory makes a hell of a lot of sense, and currently explains CMBR extremely well. The cause of the big bang is obviously still unknown (if that is even a reasonable question.) Not liking, or understanding, the theory is not reason to dismiss it. "Spewing information from digits of pi?" This is pure stoner talk. Digit of pi are arbitrary, and are different in different number bases: decimal, binary, hexadecimal, etc. Numbers are also not things in physical reality, only conceptual concepts.
From your properties of a graviton:
Particles exhibiting intelligence? Define what you mean by intelligence. How does a photon "try to survive"? Current understanding of particles is that they obey very predictable rules governed by quantum theory, which doesn't indicate any intelligence or decision making from the particle.
Finally, for your use of gravitons:
You have an interest in physics, which I applaud, but you should read some introductory physics textbooks, or enroll in undergraduate introductory physics classes, and master the fundamentals (Newtonian mechanics, classical electrodynamics, quantum, stat/mech).
On particle decay, we can only measure decay which is the delta between gravitons emitted vs gravitons absorbed, thus decay would be faster far away from other masses. Decay is also limited by how small a graviton can be. It must be many orders of magnitude smaller than the particle it is emitted from in order for decay to be undetectable by us.