The Onion

4487 readers

1093 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

1038

"Democrats better get their shit together before the 2028 election," says adorable friend who thinks there's going to be a 2028 election (thebeaverton.com)

submitted 2 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

131 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 40 points 2 days ago (7 children)

I say we start a revolution. We get a bunch of pie crusts. And fill them with whipped cream. And then we collectively go around the country just pieing people in the face, and sticking a clown nose on them. Then we lift them above our heads, and run away.

Their whole culture is based on fear, and conformity. You do the normal thing. People who don't do the normal thing aren't with them.

Now imagine walking along the street wearing your trump hat, thinking you're all cool. Suddenly, BAM!!! PIE!!! CLOWN NOSE!!! And now you're 8 feet in the air after having taken a surprise cream pie.

It would go against everything that makes their culture what it is.

OHHH!!! OHHH!!!! SOMEBODY CREAM PIE TRUMP!!! You KNOW you want to see trump rubbing out a cream pie from his eye.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Already done

It would be considered assault. Yet forcing poverty upon the working class is peace? Fuck this planet.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

In a witness statement read out to the court on his behalf, Mr Farage said: “The cup hit me directly in my face … liquid went all over me.”

Giving details from her police interview, prosecutor Nishma Shah told the court: “She acknowledges that this was an assault and that the liquid would have gone over the jackets of him and others and caused them to get cleaning, but she states that Nigel would be able to afford this.

Previously, during a campaign walkabout in Newcastle in 2019, Mr Farage had a banana and salted caramel milkshake thrown at him. “Milkshaking” – the act of dousing public figures in a milkshake – was officially recognised by Collins Dictionary the same year.

Wow he's caused a trend.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 18 hours ago

Dismissive of Kyle Rittenhouse taking his firearm across borders to go and murder someone for their skin colour, but splash him with a bit of milkshake and suddenly he's super serious and it's not funny and it's assault and the full force of the law must be applied and politicians shouldn't be subjected to violence etc etc. But violence in the street against immigrants because some right wing nutjob pretended that literally one criminal was an immigrant? No, that's all fine and very understandable and people are just concerned. Jo Cox MP murdered for saying wouldn't it be good to be nice to people for a change? "Regrettable." Uber rich Nigel "fake man of the people" Farage with milkshake thrown at him? "OutRAGEous!"

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I'm in. My recipe for pie crusts and whipped cream calls for a lot of cheap liquor and something called "flammable rags"? It's an odd recipe but comes highly rated.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Flammable rags.....hmmmm, is that an Albany expression? Sort of like Steamed Hams?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

Oh, not Albany, no. It's a Utica expression.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

this pie crust is oddly hard and crystalline, weird tall shape too

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago

surprise cream pie.

I've seen this website..

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

Only Putin is allowed to cream pie him

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

All completely to plan for big whipped cream, big pie crust and big pie tin. In the end we're just pawns in their little game

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You're gonna end up shot before the term is supposed to be over, aren't you?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

You’re gonna end up shot before the term is supposed to be over, aren’t you?

haha, We all are, hahaha.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

Oh my God that would be awesome