Wow. Immediately going to the myth of laziness right from the get go.

You're wrapped in arrogance armor, placed there by propagandists. It makes you feel well intentioned, principled, correct, and most importantly, educated. The problem is that the propagandists ensured you were ignorant and dogmatic. Now you have the terrible curse of being ignorant and dogmatic but believing you're knowledgeable and principled.

Just study more history. Read the people that you're scared of like Marx, Engels, Lenin, Stalin, Mao. Just read more and seek after knowledge that contradicts your upbringing. Most Western communists were raised on the same propaganda you were. We all managed to defeat our training by learning more about what's really been happening for the last 500 years and unlearning the lies we were raised with.

You can do it, too.