this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2023
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I think that's my problem. I'm kinda stuck in a loop of work,sleep,work,sleep. I try to capitalize on my weekends as much as possible but its just so difficult. I work graveyard and on my first day off i have to work that morning. I try to stay up as late as possible but usually I fall asleep around 1500 or so. When I feel like eating a bullet ill head up the mountains and go target shooting. Maybe that sounds counterintuitive but it's a hobby I've had as long as i can remember. I can't really do that rn though because my rifle is broken and I need a gunsmith to fix it. I'd have taken it in but for some reason thinking about it makes me feel really anxious. I can't really think of any reason why either besides the fact that I've just never used gunsmithing services before.
During the workweek I don't ever have more than one drink because it makes what little sleep I get to be not that restful.
You're right about flirting with coworkers. Fortunately I don't think I've done it so much that it's begun to define me. There's this one woman who works with me and she's just so great. I want to ask her out but we have different days off and the nice restaurants I'd take her don't open until mid day- when we have to sleep for work.
I'm not sure if you ever saw the r/RelationshipAdvice subreddit but one the questions asked on almost every thread is "What value do you bring to a relationship?" And I've never been able to satisfactorily answer that question. I mean I'm just an average guy. I can't offer much beyond companionship and trivia about dinosaurs. Even my hobbies aren't relatable for most women. Still I know a wife isn't going to just fall in my lap, it's one of those things you have to work towards.
Anyway I appreciate your reply friend. Lots of sound advice from you.
Yeah you gotta break that loop.
Shooting is a great way to relieve stress tbh. I'd find a smith in town you are comfortable with (i know its a weird community). Often the fixes are pretty quick too, especially if they have parts. Just be cognizant of your feelings with shit like that, dont do anything rash and maybe have a friend or someone you can trust that may be willing to hold the piece for a while if needed. But the biggest thing is breaking the cycle.
Fishing, hunting are huge weekend time sucks for me. It gets me away from technology, having to figure out patterns and Im gonna be honest theres nothing like seeing the world wake up in the morning. I also will just go hiking/exploring. Like I said though, learning guitar is one that has helped me where I dont have weekends I can disappear.
You mentioned Dinosaurs. Depending on where you are, theres plenty of places to go looking for things like arrow heads, fossills and shit like that.
SO
You can break that. One thing i did in my younger years to break habits (smoking etc) was wear a rubber band and just give myself a little pop if I felt I wanted a cig etc. But the big thing is just to stop. Friendly banter in the break room is one thing, but (and not saying you are) but just chill out on stopping by peoples workspace etc to chat for a while. DO you thing and head home.
If its one thing I have found, thats a load of shit. THere are women that like dinosaurs for sure. Tons of women like shooting and going out in nature and shit. I havent been in the dating game in a long time, but Ill say what it took for me to break from picking up women at bars and shit (which werent people I would bring home to family) was to just think of it like making a guy friend. Do shit that would interest you and see what pans out, or try new shit. As soon as I did that, and just said "im not picking someone up", women started showing interest. My wife was met at a co-workers Barbeque etc. I was younger, but still. SOOO many dudes treat women as objects, just simply talking to them and listening like you would another guy is all it takes. But even still, my wife and I dont share too many hobbies. We just tend to watch shows and shit and like to go find places to eat and whatever. In our younger years we did a bit more together in the hobby realm, but kids change you. But even then, I have to keep certain things (like fishing, hunting, shooting, etc) to stay centered. Its a lifelong endeavor there.
Just avoid relationships were bonding is based in trauma (ie: you are both depressed). Those never fuckin work.