this post was submitted on 20 Nov 2024
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Urinals should not exist. (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 
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[–] [email protected] 56 points 5 days ago (7 children)

This cartoon can't exist. Urinal etiquette requires:

That you should have one empty urinal between you and the next guy if at all possible. And always go to the nearest open urinal when you enter.

And that you look straight ahead and never look to either side of you. You must stare solely at the wall straight ahead of you. Thoughtful establishments hang pictures or current sales flyers at eye level to look at while peeing.

And most of all, you must never speak to anyone in there. So there is absolutely no way this cartoon can happen in the real world.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 days ago (2 children)

if at all possible

I hate that I'm arguing the reality of a comic world, but we can't see the rest of the wall. We don't know if there's 2/3 urinals total, making it impossible to leave a buffer urinal between them.

Also, without considering it a "rule" I leave an empty urinal between as well, but I don't go as far as resorting to using a stall if I only have to pee. That's just silly...

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago

A silly comic often leads to a silly discussion. Sometimes you just need to run with it. Or in the words-- Don't hate the playa, hate the game.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago

In fact we do know that there's someone else in the room - otherwise who is the old man talking to?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (3 children)

You're kidding yourself. The norm in American bars is to have two urinals whose porcelain touches, and everyone pees with their buddy while having a boisterous chat.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Or it's a country bar and you have to pee in a common trough.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Ah, the ol' honky tonk urinal that is just a rain gutter hung at an angle with a hose dribbling into the high side.

I do not miss small towns.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago

The Joe in Detroit still had those. I made sure to use it one last time during the last Red Wings game I went to there. Fun fact, they sold them before demolishing the Joe. I see one went for $55. Man, I could have had a piece of history in my basement.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

They are so close. It's actually better to put your arm around the guy next to you to make sure you're good and centered to the urinal.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 5 days ago (2 children)

You must spend a fair amount of time in bars to be so wise. Bars and even restaurants have limited floor space so they can often have just one urinal and you wait your turn. And I have never had anyone even try to talk to me in a bar or restaurant restroom. Why would they? We are there to drink and eat, not discuss philosophy.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

People have often tried to strike up conversations in bathrooms when I was clubbing. In their defence, I did look like a drug dealer at the time.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago

Well that will draw a lot of attention for sure.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

You have not peed in enough bars, friend. Once the conversational juices get flowing, people sometimes follow you in to the toilet to keep the conversation going.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

Truthfully, I have very seldom hung out in fancy clubs or bars. The places I have hung out in, if you followed someone into the restroom just to talk to them, you would have gotten the shit beat out of you and barred from ever coming back.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago (4 children)

Because everyone everywhere always follows etiquette without fail?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

In the men's bathroom, violating any of these rules of etiquette brings the death penalty.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago

death peenalty

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

I cover big public board meetings as part of my job, and when I go on breaks, I tend to use the bathroom, because I am a person. Without fail, someone will come in and talk to me while I'm pissing. I don't personally care, I was in the Marines for a bit and they beat all of that out of you (i.e., a room with eight toilets and that's it, no walls, nothing, just eight toilets, four on each wall so you can face each other). Regardless though, I never walk in and talk to someone randomly, so it's strange to me that others do it to me. I guess I just look like a nice guy.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago

Jes it is an instinct, written into the Male DNA...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago

Dem's the rules.....Follow them or become the outcast.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

And always go to the nearest open urinal when you enter.

I usually go to the one closest to the wall. It seems comfier

And most of all, you must never speak to anyone in there.

I'm not stopping the chat with my bro just because I have a dick in my hand I'm pissing. I have shit to say

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago

And most of all, you must never speak to anyone in there.

I'm not stopping the chat with my bro just because I have a dick in my hand I'm pissing. I have shit to say

I'd also like to say that some of the funniest things I've ever heard have been uttered by a random at a urinal.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I agree with all of this except the “always go to the nearest urinal.” I don’t think it matters which you go to as long as you follow the pattern that allows for the maximum number of urinals to be filled while leaving a one-urinal gap between you and the next person.

Let me explain:

🚽 = urinal, 🚹 = person peeing

You have the following setup:

🚽 | 🚽 | 🚽

Correct urinal to occupy:

🚹 | 🚽 | 🚽 OR 🚽 | 🚽 | 🚹

Incorrect:

🚽 | 🚹 | 🚽

Notice how the correct solution allows for a second urinal to be occupied while still maintaining the courtesy urinal between. The incorrect solution doesn’t.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago

There are plenty of dudes at the bars and ballgames who try to sneak a peak