this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2023
69 points (93.7% liked)

Autism

6883 readers
89 users here now

A community for respectful discussion and memes related to autism acceptance. All neurotypes are welcome.

We have created our own instance! Visit Autism Place the following community for more info.

Community:

Values

  • Acceptance
  • Openness
  • Understanding
  • Equality
  • Reciprocity
  • Mutuality
  • Love

Rules

  1. No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments e.g: racism, sexism, religious hatred, homophobia, gatekeeping, trolling.
  2. Posts must be related to autism, off-topic discussions happen in the matrix chat.
  3. Your posts must include a text body. It doesn't have to be long, it just needs to be descriptive.
  4. Do not request donations.
  5. Be respectful in discussions.
  6. Do not post misinformation.
  7. Mark NSFW content accordingly.
  8. Do not promote Autism Speaks.
  9. General Lemmy World rules.

Encouraged

  1. Open acceptance of all autism levels as a respectable neurotype.
  2. Funny memes.
  3. Respectful venting.
  4. Describe posts of pictures/memes using text in the body for our visually impaired users.
  5. Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
  6. Questions regarding autism.
  7. Questions on confusing situations.
  8. Seeking and sharing support.
  9. Engagement in our community's values.
  10. Expressing a difference of opinion without directly insulting another user.
  11. Please report questionable posts and let the mods deal with it. Chat Room
  • We have a chat room! Want to engage in dialogue? Come join us at the community's Matrix Chat.

.

Helpful Resources

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
[email protected]
69
Warning: Hot take: the longer I’m a parent, the more I feel that we shouldn’t be able to have children (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
22 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Some background:

I am a 35 year old male with a 2 year old son. I was diagnosed this year after a lifetime of struggling and becoming a parent exacerbating my traits.

Today I had an appointment with my son’s speech therapist, because he’s still not talking more than a couple words. The appointment is unstructured play and interaction including mimicking him, waiting for his cues, etc. The problem is, I can’t pick up on communication cues or read what to do next. I can’t communicate with him like a normal parent and I feel like I’m holding him back.

The therapist had to guide me as much as she had to guide him. This was my first time meeting her, and it was all overwhelming and overstimulating. I was fighting back tears half the time and I couldn’t keep and make eye contact as well as my 2 year old. 😭

I feel like my kid is going to be stunted because of my issues. I’m newly divorced and I’m doing my best so my wife doesn’t take him from because “I care for him, but can’t care for him.”

I struggle without routines and children are chaos. I am excluded by other parents because I’m weird or different, and they keep their kids away from us when playing at the park. I want him to be able to socialize and have friends and his autistic monster father gets in the way.

Everything is always so overwhelming and I struggle to not have panic attacks. How am I supposed to help when he gets to school? I have trouble with numbers and can’t do math😭😭

I just feel like giving up. I don’t know what to do

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago

This doesn't read so much as a hot take and more like a cry for help. I'm sorry to hear that you have been having a hard time with your son. Any divorce is difficult, and having a child with special needs certainly doesn't make it easier.

I of course don't know the whole situation, but based on what you've written here, I would reccommend two things. First, at your next sessions with your son's therapist, you might ask her if she knows, or has information on where to find, someone who can help you with parenting and divorce from your perspective. It's important to remember that the therapist is always on your side, and you need not be embarrassed to ask her about such things.

Second, I think it might be valuable to search for other autistic parents and/or children in your area so you can share experiences and tips. Your son might also appreciate meeting children who are more like him, especially later on. Perhaps you can find parenting groups online, or you might ask the therapist about this as well.

Whatever you choose to do, I wish you a lot of strength and success.