this post was submitted on 20 Dec 2024
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Showerthoughts
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A "Showerthought" is a simple term used to describe the thoughts that pop into your head while you're doing everyday things like taking a shower, driving, or just daydreaming. A showerthought should offer a unique perspective on an ordinary part of life.
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Because FUCK YOU. That's why.
Car companies want you to go back to the dealership to have codes read. They had to be sued into releasing the code's meanings so independent shops and owners could do their own repairs.
Even though most car owners are knuckle draggers who don't understand oil changes or air filter changes, they don't want to make it any easier to do repairs outside of dealerships. I know someone who swears by dealerships and was very confused when I asked if he ever changed the air filter to improve fuel economy. For some reason, he thought his car didn't have one.
"Fuck you. Give us money" - BMW (probably)
Ironically, BMWs do or at least used to, have diagnostic functionality in their infotainment centers. It wouldn't go very deep, but it was more informative than "lol engine bad visit workshop". It'd still tell you to visit the workshop, but it'd also tell you why.
No, you're thinking of Mercedes, this is BMW so you have to buy the 'fuck you' subscription, just a monthly 15€, to get that amount of response from them.
That subscription is only available for customers who have bought the "car seat heat ON", "car seat heat OFF", "AC direction control with an optional AC temperature control upgrade", AND the "rear mirror defrost" subscriptions ... as well as having less than 20000km on the odometer, past 20k km the subscription is 20€ and requires the "advanced oil leak detection system" subscription (it's just a light on the dash to remind you to casually look where you parked for oil spots)
Fuck BMW, let me have an Opel Kadett instead