Asklemmy

44152 readers

1222 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
[email protected]: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

122

What are some dating mistakes you often see when people try seeking a partner? (kbin.melroy.org)

submitted 4 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

81 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I have a few.

One is abbreviation hell. Nobody is going to spend the time trying to decipher what you mean when you use over several abbreviations. It is just better if you'd explain than expecting people to understand aside from commonly used abbreviations that are easy to understand.

Another is overstepping your limits for the sake of getting a partner. Compromising your own standards is perhaps one of the worst things you can do when it comes to trying to find dates. Like you're suddenly okay with dating single parents but you don't like children. You're suddenly okay with dating religious people but you're not religious. Things like that. Because it means you're desperate and you're setting yourself up and setting them up for a bad date.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I would always suggest never force yourself to interact with people. I'm just saying be adjacent. You don't have to force yourself to interact with people. Just at least be around them.

Forcing yourself to interact with a person for no other reason than interaction is ALWAYS awkward. It takes skill to plow through the awkwardness. Speed dating, speed friending, date auctions, are always awkward for this reason. Small talk can be difficult but if you treat someone more like google asking a question you actually care about. It's a lot less awkward. People like to be experts, and treated as such.

It's why I say just, wander. It's alright not speaking to anybody for hours at an event. Walk through it like you would a forest. Take in the sights and sounds. Try to find something truly interesting.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

I'll give an exception here, I'm an extrovert with social anxiety and I benefitted immensely from making myself do things and talk to people.