this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2023
82 points (97.7% liked)
Asklemmy
43781 readers
1002 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- [email protected]: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
He had a lot of mental health issues that he just wouldn't get help with.
He ended up being upset a lot because I didn't "react the way [he] wanted me to". In the end, I really did care about him a lot, but his clinginess and codependency on me was far too much for me to handle. He made it clear that he was unhappy, but also depended on me to make him happy. I tried very hard, but it was never good enough. Did my best to encourage and support him, but he just couldn't do right for himself.
He really was such a beautiful person, but loving someone is often not enough.
I really do hope that he is doing well now, wherever he is.
I really feel this one. still wonder if I could have done more, but maybe it's for the best in the end
I have the same thought sometimes, but you can't help someone who refuses help. They're essentially hurting you in that way, and that's not something that love can ever fix.
It's not selfish to think about your own well-being in a relationship. It's like a drowning person continually holding onto you because they're afraid of dying alone: you both end up drowning.
You can't keep hurting yourself for someone who keeps stepping into danger. Eventually, they need to learn to take another route. If they refuse or show that they really just can't, that's not a failing on you. You should not feel guilty for that. You're important, too.
Doesn't mean it doesn't suck, of course. But it's not your fault. You tried. You loved them. It's okay. It's not your fault.
^Sounds like BPD to me.