Microblog Memes

My diagnosis was based on a number of tests. One such test was related to speeded processing, basically how quickly a person's brain analyzes things and makes decisions. It required me to look at a series of pages (one at a time) featuring a particular design for about six seconds or so, and to then identify on the flowing page the same design from a group of four, five, or six similar designs (there were more to choose from as the test went on). If I got one wrong, I'd have a second chance to choose the correct image. Two wrong answers in a row and the test would be over.

I was told at the beginning to not feel bad if I didn't finish the test because no one ever does. Well, I did, and very quickly. I made one mistake on one picture, but I'd had it narrowed down to two images, so I was able to quickly recover when I made that one mistake. After a while, after every correct answer, the doctor's eyes became wider and wider, until I finished and she just said, "Welp...that was THAT test!"

When I got my test results, it had me well into the 99.9th percentile. Upon informing me of this, she asked me "Does this surprise you?" to which I replied no, not really. I've always felt like I think WAY more quickly than the rest of the world. And it is both a boon and a burden. It serves me well and will continue to do so in the post-apocalyptic times to come.

But it's also caused me to queer relationships because I don't think about things before speaking sometimes, and - as an autistic person - connections with others are sometimes few and far between. So having confirmation now that my brain really does work this way helps me feel empowered enough to work on myself and that tendency to think/act/speak too quickly, because the relationships I have with people are immensely important to me.