this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2023
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Autism
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The hardest part about figuring out you're autistic is just the fact that so many of the symptoms are things that are perfectly normal, but you experience it to either an abnormally high or low degree. And you really only have your own experiences to go off of, so when you find out that one of your experiences is a symptom of autism, it's like "wait, you mean to tell me that's not normal?"
And that first discovery starts down the rabbit hole and before you know it, your entire life is flipped upside down and you spend months re-evaluation your entire life and putting the pieces together.
This is exactly what I'm experiencing right now. It is very disorienting.
I feel that man! It takes a long time to get through it. If you're able, therapy is a huge help with it, but otherwise it will sort itself out. Just take your time to process it all and learn to accept yourself! Sharing with those closest to you and getting their acceptance is also an amazing and helpful experience!
I already see a therapist, but he does not specialise in Autism, nor does he know a lot about it. So I'm considering seeing someone who does, so that I can get help that is more relevant to my needs. I've shared it with just a few people, and they have been okay with it, so that has been good. But I don't think they really get what it means for me. So I think I will be educating them on what that means for me, as I gradually learn more, and understand myself better.
My own therapist recommended a book that was already very helpful less than a chapter in called "Unmasking Autism." It may help you with learning more about what it means to be autistic.
@DaedalousIlios @cogitoprinciple Reading about the author’s life at university to me was like „ok, that‘s been me so many times“ 😁. It really is a good book, even though it seems many autists (including me) struggle with the identity-building exercises.
Struggles with identity building sounds like my life
@cogitoprinciple Many autistic people struggle with that. All your live everyone around you signals your feelings or opinions are wrong and you have to adopt NT-feelings. Everyone: „Birthday parties are great! Gotta love it!“ Me: „Mh, no, actually they suck and are exhausting as fuck“. Everyone: „No, what‘s wrong with you!!!“. Everyone wants to be normal, so you learn to hide your true self quickly. Not me anymore. I‘m settling for „autistically normal“ now🥳
Is this behaviour/personanality classed as introvert? (I'm also an introvert)
What's the distinction between introvert and autism here?
There's a YouTube channel called, "I'm Autistic, now what?" And one of her videos mentioned this. She said what differentiated autism from introversion for her was she constantly paid attention to her facial expressions and mannerisms while talking with others. But her introverted family members didn't do that. They just aren't big into conversations.
That's not to say that's the case for everyone, just what she herself noticed between herself and her relatives.
Yeah, I force myself to go to a lot of big social events, that I don't want to go to. I can't add to the conversation, because either I don't know anything about typical topics of conversation, or there are too many people talking that I can't keep up, so I just sit there and wonder why I bothered going. Additionally there's the sensory and social overwhelm, that kicks in. I'm still figuring out my limits, and how to set healthy boundaries.
@cogitoprinciple I only like events like that if I know I‘ll have an interesting conversation partner who will stick with me the whole time. Nothing more awkward than finding myself alone having to acquire one. If I’m successful, it’s not even a permanent solution because they like changing their partners at these occasions 😂. And the stuff that‘s being talked about usually is of no interest whatsoever. Listening to my autistic self and not going saves me a lot of hustle now.
Thanks for the recommendation, I'll check it out
Get on that soon. My GP just referred me to an Austism Specialist... it's a 3 year wait.
That's insane. I still can't fathom how hard it is to get diagnosed. It feels like resources are severely lacking for those of us who are autistic.
My Doctor's are actively reaching out to their colleagues to see if anyone can get me in sooner, but yes. That's Ontario for ya.