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A year or two ago, I got really excited about a comic book shop opening in town and got chatty with the owner. I decided to take him up on some drinks and a smoke sesh but we had two different goals in mind; I just wanted friendship (which i made clear to him) and a business I could give money to, he wanted to sleep with me. Things got super uncomfortable and branched into sexual harassment and I can’t go back to the only comic book store in my area now.
Comic book guy’s mistake wasn’t the act of wanting to get to know me or even being attracted to me, it was that I voiced many times that he was making me uncomfortable and i just wanted to be friends until it got to the point where I was worried about my safety around him. If you feel like there’s some connection, i don’t think it’s wrong to say “hey we have some great conversations, would you be comfortable with me giving you my number?”; it’s all up to you to be aware of what signals she’s giving off and how to respect “no” as an answer.
Agreed. A friend asked me out a while back, just like a casual "I like your company, how do you feel about going out together with just us and seeing how it goes", I said I didn't feel the same way but enjoyed his company. No more was said and it wasn't really an issue at all. We remained good friends for a long while after that.
As long as your respectful, just asking is never an issue.
That's really fucking sad for you. And creepy AF about the owner. You didn't do anything wrong there, and you didn't deserve to be put in that stressful situation. ((Hugs))