Men's Liberation
This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.
Rules
Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people
Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren't talking over men expressing their own lived experiences.
Be productive
Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people's efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed.
Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting:
- Build upon the OP
- Discuss concepts rather than semantics
- No low effort comments
- No personal attacks
Assume good faith
Do not call other submitters' personal experiences into question.
No bigotry
Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated.
No brigading
Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues.
Recommended Reading
- The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love by bell hooks
- Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements by Michael Messner
Related Communities
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I am glad this perspective is being presented. I think ftm people have a unique view of how difficult it can be to be a man that throws light on a lot of men's issues.
I hope this person can present more along these lines. I think I could come up with hundreds of questions.
I'm a trans guy who transitioned in the 2000s. I'd be happy to answer any questions you have on the unique perspective of men's issues from someone who spent 20 ish years as a woman.
Thank you, Kit.
Here are some questions:
I don't want to wear out my welcome so I'll stop there. No rush to answer, I'd prefer more complete answers to quick ones.
I did also want to mention that one thing blew my mind - The way that the dynamics of a room change when it's all men, versus when there's a single woman in the room. With all men, it seems like guys relax and suddenly don't feel the need to walk on eggshells. Social courtesies become significantly less important and men tend to communicate more directly. Next time you're in a room of all men and a woman walks in, keep an eye out for the subtle differences in how men behave.
On your last point. Guys only get to be guys when around other guys, exclusively.
Lots of women act like men aren't right or they aren't good enough when they actual normal and do normal guy shit.
Guys wants to call each other a cunt and rip into each other and tell funny stories, it's how they bond and trust each other. Girls don't like that and think guys should stop it. Either the guys act normal to them and it goes to HR or they act normal to each other and the girl is pissed off she is treated differently and goes to HR. The only thing to do is to act completely professionally.
Boys are just built different and I don't think it's fair that women always tell us and actual children how they should and shouldn't act in a way that is against their nature.
Guys are in dire need of male only spaces where they can shoot the shit. I only really had it in sports clubs or as a child, or luckily in some work environments. But work isn't the same as outside so that's sucks. Wish my knee wasn't fucked.
If you yearn for a male only space, check out the Freemasons. There's something there for everyone, and it's a great way to make friends later in life.
Would you be able to answer some more questions please? I'm interested to hear more of your opinion and experience!
Thank you!
I did not find that people take me more seriously at work as a man. However, I work in tech and all companies I have worked are focused on ensuring that women have an equal place at the table. I imagine that other fields yield different results. -- I did want to note that I had the opposite experience with healthcare. As a woman, doctors were less likely to take me seriously. As a man, they take anything I say to be the truth and trust me to make decisions.
Disadvantages of being male are:
FWIW, I hire in Tech, and our percentage of female applicants is incredibly low, usually under 1%. I do pay extra attention to their resumes, but often they aren't even close to qualified for the position.
I've worked at woke companies who fought tooth and nail to say that they didn't give women special preference in interviews. You can't deny statistics, though. If you have 40% women engineers but only 10% of applicants are women then of course it's easier.