this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2023
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Why not text 'wanna talk sometime'? A call demands an immediate response, so reserve it for things that demand immediate responses.
No it doesn't. Just don't pick up the phone. If it's important they'll text you to pick up the phone. There's a reason the terms "phone tag" and "screening calls" exist.
But you don't know the relative importance of what they're telling vs what you're doing. A text gives more information than just seeing your receiving a call.
That’s why people leave voicemails… you leave a verbal note of why you’re calling. And if the receiver prefers to read a text about it, several services transcribe voicemails automatically good enough to get the general gist. Or they can listen to them.
The point is that people usually don’t set out to ruin your day or misbehave, and you cannot control other people’s experience, expectations and preferences, only your own. So it’s on you to know yourself well enough to manage your boundaries appropriately with technology/tools, and possibly communication, and not to blame other people for “missteps”. When what they are doing is likely perfectly within the realm of reason to them.
Especially if they have a disability and calls are easier for them. If you have the disability, you can communicate your preferences but don’t expect people to know immediately. Set up your tech accordingly to communicate your needs. And acclimate where you can.
If things “escalate”.. well… it’s likely your fault. We always need to look at our part first.
Nothing good ever came out of a voicemail I received. Disabled and wont enable again. Text me if it's important enough for me to call back with a brief topic. I don't call back if I don't get a text, that's reserved for maybe 5 people on earth.
Great. That’s your boundary. Sounds like you have disabled them permanently. I’m saying that people should use tools, and communication when necessary, to exercise their own boundaries, like you, rather than make meanings or assumptions, or expect others to be mindreaders.
I use these. But they're less direct and easier to misunderstand than if it was native text. If someone wants to say it, they can voice type as well.
I actually agree with you on that one. I hate voicemail. If I don't pick up, shoot me a text or send a voice recording through the messaging app.
Absolutely. Also hit and miss accuracy wise and can turn out to be an essay, but definitely an option.
I don't even get how voicemail works, last time I checked there was like 6 "unread" voicemails from months ago I never knew I'd gotten and it was just my mom saying "please call me back" or some inaudible noise and figuring out how to delete them is a pain too.
That sounds like something pretty heavily in the "you problem" zone. If it's going to be acceptable to look down on folks who don't understand stuff like chat apps, not understanding voicemail is still "oh god i am not good with technology how did i get here"
I'm just saying voicemail was badly designed because it's old and it's never optimised since forever. I don't see why anyone would still use it at this point but here we are
Damn dude, it's not that big a deal. Just don't pick up the phone. If it's important they'll find a way to let you know.
if you don't pick up they'll get mad and say you never pick up your phone
This is true. It's what I tell my mom because she never picks up her phone! 😄
I don't mind much. I just don't call because it wastes people's time. But I don't want to let it go to voice mail because then it wastes their time.
Ah, see in my opinion going to voicemail is just the risk you take if you call someone.
Calling is only a waste of time if your conversationalism isn't worth the time. You see the self own don't you?
It wastes time if they're doing something more important and can't talk right now. Not everything I want to talk about is of earth shattering importance, so it isn't always worth their time if their doing something that is more important. If their time is more valuable sometimes, why is it bad that my conversation or question is less valuable than that? Sometimes I just want to catch up.
If they are doing something important they won't answer.
Again, you don't need something earth shattering to talk to someone. It's called being social.
And if you both care about each other, just catching up IS important.
Sure. But it's easier and more information dense to know if you should pick up from a text rather than from just seeing an incoming call.
You will feel terrible if you don't pick up the phone and it turns out to be something important, like being able to hear the last words of your grandma or something.
Texting is a lot less of a big deal than a phone call is.
A situation like that has only happened to me once... and they didn't call, they emailed me.
I'm sorry, what's "phone tag" and "screening calls"? Never heard of any of that.
Haha phone tag is what we used to do before text messages. Call each other over and over and you're never both available 😂
Thanks for waking me up from the one nap I've gotten this year.
Or, you know, you could just talk to a person on the phone.
But it they are in the middle of something they could lose half a minute of time instead of 5 seconds checking a text. It's the same as opening a phone call with 'got time to talk' but more efficient.
Oh no, 30 whole seconds.
Phone calls are never thirty seconds. It's always fluffed up by twenty minutes of "how are you" and "what are your plans next week" like fam I'm trying to do the dishes and had to scramble to pick up the phone with wet hands, go away
It adds up. Why waste other people's time? I think it can be inconsiderate.
If you think talking to a loved one on the phone for 30 seconds is a waste of time, you might want to evaluate your priorities.
People are just sooooo busy with their SUPER IMPORTANT lives, that they definitely don't have 5 minutes to spend unscheduled with the likes of you.
Piss off and get in the text queue like everyone else!