this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2023
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Two main ways. My brother is very likable. To the point that it’s almost silly. Dude is 6 ft 3, maybe 300 lbs. He looks like an offensive lineman. He’s probably the strongest, roundest, happiest guy I know. When he was single he never had a problem getting quality dates. Even at his size. But it wasn’t just the charisma. Dude would shoot his shot and, if that didn’t work, he’d shoot his shoot again with the next lady. If you can talk a good game, don’t care if you miss and, ideally, be attractive, then you can slay it at the bars.
I am not as likable as my brother. But I’m funny. I’m decent looking. I treat ladies right. I have hobbies and interests. When I was single, my dates always came from my activity groups. Does it turn out Jenny from run club really likes music? Invite her to a show. And, here’s the key. Only invite people to things you’re going to do anyway. The line is “I’m going to the show this weekend, wanna come with me?” No matter what Jenny says, go to the show. Talk to the people that are there. Have a great time. If you have a great time with Jenny, terrific! If you don’t, or if Jenny doesn’t come, invite someone else next time. Common interests and quality time can take you a long way. Even if it’s a longer game than my brothers.
Really solid advice!
I think one should take care not hesitate too much talking to new people. The outcome can be either ways any ways, but that usually is nothing to carry around for too long time. I figured for myself it should be (and feel) casual (not only during dating).
So of you are a nerd not used to talk to anyone, maybe get used to talk to people again before trying to advertise yourself on the dating market. Usually, most of people not overly busy are open for a short chat or a funny remark*.
*Disclaimer: may differ depending on where you live.