this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2023
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Had a first date with a really lovely girl this weekend.
We both had fun and she made sure to tell me so and spoke about catching up again in the future a few times.
I waited a day to ask if she wanted to hang out next weekend and she says that she’s super busy that weekend, sorry. No suggestion of when she might be free or anything.
Am I reading too much into it thinking maybe she’s not interested? I just took what she said at face value and went with it but part of me wonders if she’s just not interested but wants to be polite.
Any suggestions? I don’t want to come across as needy or anything like that.
Maybe I'm pessimistic but it sounds like she's brushing you off.
At this point I wouldn't reach out again, you've already stuck your neck out. If she makes contact, great but I wouldn't hold your breath.
I thought it sounded like being brushed off too.
You’d think if she was interested she would suggest another time.
Bit weird because we’ve been talking a bunch both before and after but I haven’t really said much other than suggesting we play a game we both like and she kinda brushed that off too saying she was hungover.
Might just have to leave it.
Have you been talking recently? How's she sounding via texts n such?
Lots of exclamation points in her texts and excitement, just how she was on our first date.
Today she’s been a bit low on communicating but yesterday (day after our date) she was pretty talkative. I’m willing to put it down to being her being hungover today as I’m trying to trust people again!
Yesterday immediately after the date (midnight or so) she was the one to initiate conversation and thank me for having her around and say that she had lots of fun, etc. I suggested that we play a game together at some point and she sounded really keen, lots of exclamation points and was pretty emphatic about it.
I should say this is the second time I’ve met her (first was through a meet up group) and so we’ve been talking for a few weeks now and she’s kept a pretty high interest level from my point of view at least until today when I asked her out again.
I was supposed to take her out for dinner for the date but she suggested that she just came around instead which worked for me. At the very least I know she’s comfortable around me but yeah just a bit unsure how to handle it.
I think you might be reading too much into it. From what you've said, she definitely is keen on you. I understand you're anxious (I'm a super anxious person as well) but give it some time, just keep talking to her without pushing to meet and maybe she'll bring it up! She probably had a bad day or is hungover or whatever, there's probably 100s of reasons why she wasn't as talkative. Give it some time, hopefully it works out for you mate! Keen to hear updates!!
Thanks mate, from what you and Pilk have said better off just playing it cool and letting it flow.
I’m all for that, just wanted to make sure I wasn’t actually getting a solid no.
Yep, I’m a worrier. Guilty as charged.
I’ll post updates as they roll in.
Love you guys and thanks!
Good luck mate <3
Thanks mate appreciate it! <3
Seems to me like you're giving up way too easily.
Don't do that before you decide to ask a much more direct question about your status together. There is literally nothing to lose.
"Hey, I'm not sure if you're still keen to hang out again. I'd like to, what are your thoughts?"
Edit: And just read your other comments. It's still way too early. You're overthinking it. Don't listen to the DT's resident pessimist.
OK thanks Pilk, I’ll keep that in mind as well.
I guess we just keep talking organically and if a second date happens it happens.
Alternatively I could be more direct with her say tomorrow when she’s not hungover and see what she says.
I do like the idea of being direct about it all. We’re grown ups after all.
EDIT: As fullkit and yourself have suggested I’ll just let things roll and not read into it at all for now. See where the conversation moves to next and see if she suggests anything!
So I asked what you suggested and she just wants to be friends. Time to move on. Thanks for your advice.
Well I am sorry to hear that. It's good to know for sure though. On to the next one :)
If you really like her make the effort and don't give up.
Aww seagoon that's sweet of you. I do. I'd describe her as a keeper for sure.
i'm really ancient and it's been my experience that good relationships, good matches and love are rare. Too many settle for OK or loneliness. Don't. If you find someone who is worth it fight for it. hugs and good luck 😘😘😘