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I want you to know that I have typed out a response to you like 4 times. Every time it’s super long. This will be my attempt at condensing it.
As someone that was sexually abused as a child. I fully agree that you never truly know someone. That’s why you write a letter that says “I trust in the courts decision that my friend is guilty, but I never knew that side of them, and they will be missed”. Obviously that’s condensed down, but I think you get the point. You can say I love this person without absolving them of responsibility.
The reason I’m like this is because I was a heroin addict for years. All of my family, and most of my friends abandoned me. A select few friends and my partner came together and saved me. They gave me places to stay, and paid for and gave me rides to treatment.
Now, I am opiate free. I have kids, and I’m still alive. Hell, my best childhood friend died of a heroin overdose, and I adopted his kid.
My family abandoned me, but my friends didn’t.
To paraphrase Bud from Kill Bill. “I don’t dodge guilt, and I always pay my comeuppance.”
Anyway I’m falling asleep at the keyboard. So, I hope this all makes sense when you read it. I hope you have a good night.