this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2023
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Autism

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being "confident" doesn't mean you should double check just to be sure, it means you should pretend to be certain about things you are not certain about. (feddit.de)
submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
30 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

I've spent some time reflecting yesterday and I realized that. When people want you to be confident they don't want you to be actually confident, they want you to pretend you are. It is idiotic and makes no sense, but it explains a lot of situations in which I behaved the wrong way.

confidence to me means the opposite of that. it means questioning your asssumptions, approaching things from a different angle, reflect, recalculate, asking for a second opinion. Because I'll end up with greater confidence that my assertions are more truthful. But apparently doing all that makes people think I'm insecure. Shit!

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

You can be confident that the right course of action is to seek further information. Double checking is a lack of confidence because you are not trusting your first check. If you seek other people's opinions, it's important that those people have experience and knowledge in the thing you are asking or it may seem like you will listen to anyone's opinion but your own.