this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2023
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Three times a month for a long term relationship seems really low to me. Over a decade married and ~3-5x a week.
https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/how-often-do-happiest-couples-have-sex-it-s-less-ncna828491
Once a week or so is the average. I'm at about the same amount of time in a relationship as you and we're about once a week. Personally I feel like sex is nice but it takes time and effort and I'm not always in the mood to spend time pleasing someone else (and I'm not going to initiate unless I'm willing to do that). I could see myself having sex a little bit more often if I had a better work-life balance where I felt less pressed for time. This gets me thinking that I should check in with my partner about this topic though!
It isn't ideal but working 5 days a week on opposite schedules once a week is minimum and one week there is a natural occurence that makes one of us feel not super into sexy times.