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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/LuluHallyU on 2023-07-01 08:52:15+00:00.
One of my family friends (who I’ll name Kayla) has been engaged for a while, to a guy who isn’t particularly good to her (I’ll call that guy Alan). He’s an ex drug addict and a lot of my family have reason to suspect he’s still selling drugs. He’s also just rude, uncouth and a nasty person to be around. Basically a lot of my family and friends have worried about Kayla’s wellbeing for a long time, but because she’s always told us she doesn’t want to end things, nothing has happened and the relationship has continued. Lots of other family members don’t see an issue and think I’m rocking the boat by worrying.
The night before the wedding, one of the bridesmaids (all of them were Kayla’s sisters) phoned to say that there had been a blazing row between Kayla and Alan, over some messages from another woman found on Alan’s phone. Kayla still wanted to continue with the wedding, and to everyone’s surprise was at the church the next morning. Alan showed up hungover and my brother guessed that he was also high on something from the way he was acting.
I’d frankly had enough of seeing this man insult Kayla, so I chose a moment before things got underway and pulled her aside into a private room. I asked her if she really wanted to do this, and tried to explain to her that the red flags she sees in Alan now would only get worse with time. She was quiet for a long while before breaking down and telling me that she didn’t want to marry him. She asked if I’d leave the room and I didn’t see her for ages after. Turns out she slipped away via a side exit and left the church. We all waited for a while before Alan went to look for her and learned that she’d left. Chaos erupts.
Now I’m being called an AH for breaking them up and for ruining an expensive wedding. What do you guys think?
NTA. You didn't force her to leave.