this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2023
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I think of it as a dialect difference. Allistic people aren't "not saying what they think" they are saying exactly what they think. That combination of words just has a specific meaning to other Allistic people outside of their Webster definition. It's gibberish/meaningless if you speak a different dialect though.
I'm gonna be upfront with you, Im ND but Allistic. Your boss asking you to make a spreadsheet automatically told me he wanted you to make it look presentable because it was a work enviornment. The context of who was asking you and where made that clear to me, I understand that it wasn't clear to you. But that's what I mean by dialect.
I didnt get all the layout details that he might specifically want but if my boss asked me to make a spreadsheet comparing some numbers 9 out of 10 times I'll have outlines and colors and I'll hide messy cells. He wouldn't have to tell me that and I'd bet most Allistic people would hear those instructions as well. In fact most Allistic people would probably be insulted by the level of specific instruction your asking for if they hadnt specifically requested it. So your boss may think he's being polite and not realizing that he's instead using poor communication. It may help to specifically tell him you want specific, detailed, instructions like that, otherwise he's likely to resist giving that level of instruction for fear of insulting you.
I'm sorry that your boss hasn't figured out that you need more specific guidance in those situations because that's got to be frustrating and I hope that you and he can figure out a better mutual communication style.
Such things can also be a domineering strategy.
So based on the info you just provided your example isn't what I was referring to by differences in dialect. If your boss didn't tell you the very specific formatting he wanted beforehand then there was no way for you to know and no Allistic person would have been able to figure that out either. Thats not a subtext dialect difference which is what I was talking about. An allistic person would be just as frustrated with that example and your boss is just a dick. No subtext was going to tell anyone the correct color hash that he wanted.
Infers to me practicality over presentability.
Unfortunately that is largely not how the corporate world works.
Which is why more hierarchies = more bullshit work.
I remember, once in a nice small company with flat hierarchy, the office guys did a survey for the works outing (sounds weird, "Betriebsausflug"); it was an excel sheet with not-working checkboxes sent via mail, you had to send it back. Now scale that up.
^ Prime example of speaking a different dialect, if not language.
I would be willing to bet actual money that they did not mean those exact specific lines and colours, and instead provided them as direction for the type of organisation and presentation of the data they were expecting. They wanted it presented in a manner that made the comparison easier to digest at a glance, and not just a trivially assembled side by side list of plain numbers.
Think about the reason behind the request, and how it changes the situation for the person making it. Could they have gotten a dump of unformatted data themselves? If so then that's almost certainly not what they're asking for.
You literally asked how a short instruction expands to include these seemingly expected additional formatting requirements. The answer is that it doesn't expand to exactly these arbitrary requirements, but that a certain style or level of aesthetics was implied by being a work environment. Unless your boss is hard to work with and actually demands a specific date format and color coding. Most likely though, they want any form of color coding to distinguish different parts of the spreadsheet at a glance and a reasonable date format that is used in everyday life.
So all of your bullshit in this thread is just the result of you having a shitty boss and throwing a temper tantrum, then blaming all other neurotypicals for the behavior of one person? Jesus christ, I feel like that guy that was arguing with someone about food only to learn that person was a pissdrinker and their opinions were worthless.
This explains so much about you.
Someone was just bringing in an example of a situation that is difficult for them and which repeatedly upsets them. Remembering all that might make them present their upsettedness, which may be welcome for a deeper understanding and further processing toward clarity on both sides. No need to mirror that. :-)
edit: Maybe i should tell about this afterthought here; it's a perspective that might be unknown to many here. I might still be off because of empathetic limits presented by the text-only medium, and I'm only a messenger who will be speaking an unknown language so don't hit on me ... :-)
Through the shamanic lens: This looks like an example of a "self-fulfilling prophecy", in the way of calling in the presence of a spirit (spiritual entity) by telling the story of having encountered that entity before. So, @[email protected] in its essence told a story of how they repeatedly meet a spirit which seeks to take their energy by telling them they were doing things not as expected, with the implicate impression that something would be "wrong" with them not having understood some unspoken message, while CarlsIII was just doing things the way CarlsIII would find them fitting. Others probably have read the story and could relate to it or feel with it, thus amplifying the inadvertent call. ... Lo and behold, exactly such a spirit shows up. All it takes is someone who is susceptible to it and ready to serve for a demonstration. Invocations like this are common. Maybe this can help build awareness.
If you think about it as a dialect the only way to learn it is like any other language that doesnt have a textbook: exposure with the native speakers.
I think the point OP was trying to make is that most likely people who know this dialect (i. E. Are used to working with your bess) have an idea of how he wants things.
In this case, the dialect would have a very small subset of speakers (only the people used to working with your boss).
I can see the logic in this argument, but I don't think such a small subset of speakers qualifies as a dialect and I think your boss is just being difficult. Also I'm pretty sure this would have been an issue for many neurotypicals too, since the info wasnt communicated properly.
I think this is more an example of power play - your boss is in power and how dare you not know? It's the same treatment we get from NTs everywhere. They are "in power" in the sense that they can expect most people to pick up on their code and don't have to change. Your boss on the other hand just doesn't care if you had a chance to understand and that's why I think he's just power trippy.