I've been on a slow but steady decline for the past several years. I don't move at all, barely leaving my room let alone the house; I've taken to eating shit I order out instead of cooking meals myself; I don't get involved with any local orgs besides sending dues every month; I haven't read a book in months; I regularly fail to perform bare minimum hygiene. The only reason I'm able to keep alive at all is because I haven't moved out of my parents' house, burdening them with helping me. It would be understandable if I was living hand to mouth and had barely any free time, but I am one of the small percent of burgers who isn't a month away from destitution and I have more than enough free time. Not to mention I receive no shortage of help.
Since I can't blame my material circumstances, I can only conclude that I am this way because I always refuse to take personal responsibility. I know that changing myself so that I can be, at bare minimum, not a drain on society is going to take a lot of work, work that I always put off due to cowardice. Idealist as it is, I feel like I have some innate metaphysical trait that makes me this way, and the entirety of my failure to pick myself up is due to a moral failing on my part and nothing more.
How do I force myself to unfuck myself so that I can actually be useful for revolution instead of yet another useless first world lotus eater?
Ok I'm 30, I've been here before, you can't help any movements or orgs at your best potential unless you get your mind right, comrade.
I've been in your position, let's start with some healthy fundamental routine building. Start with working out (if you're able physically) whenever you want, morning or night. You don't have to start with anything crazy, hydrate, stretch, do this: 10 push ups 10 arm leg raises 10 leg lifts 10 crunches 10 burpees (if you can start with 5 if too heavy) Then go run a mile (when you get better at this you can add more than a mile). I recommend this because you don't need a gym, so there's no excuse just do it in your backyard and run out for a run in your community, you don't need to drive anywhere.
This will help clear your mind and raise some inner motivation.
Now I don't know what country or region you're in but if you have access to an education (state funded) start considering something that could interest you to study in academically. If academics aren't for you maybe something you can be trained or certified to do ( an EMT or lifeguard, these are just examples). Don't feel overwhelmed by this I'm not asking you to figure out your career or something you wanna do for life, just something you can apply yourself healthily.
Again don't know where you live but if you have health insurance or access to any program for therapy I highly recommend that as well.
I rarely cook myself but do your best to make healthier choices with your meals. If you have access to food stamps program in your region apply for it.
Don't feel bad this is just the inner work needed to make a positive change in your life. Self care isn't all about spoiling yourself, that is a capitalist myth to promote consumerism. Self care is the act of inner work, to set your mind right. Self awareness is key but it is not the hand that turns the key lock, opens the door, and shuts it's behind us.
If you want a recommendation to read, I highly suggest Autobiography of Pablo Neruda, I am reading it in Spanish but you can find it in English. It is about the Chilean Poet, Pablo Neruda who was a beautiful writer and a socialist who has a very interesting journey of life.
If there's anyway I can help to advise you feel free to PM comrade, sometimes we all just need a Mr Rogers presence.
Coming from someone who self manages ADHD without meds (by choice ),I am constantly in mental inner turmoil π
Iβm pretty sure our comrade is a labor aristocrat burgerlander so most of thatβs not the problem, just the lack of motivation and willpower. Good advice in general though. π
My 2 cents of advice to help with a mental funk is something as light as 10 push ups, 10 sit ups, and a short run I know OP is going through lack of motivation but that's what has helped me in the past