I've been on a slow but steady decline for the past several years. I don't move at all, barely leaving my room let alone the house; I've taken to eating shit I order out instead of cooking meals myself; I don't get involved with any local orgs besides sending dues every month; I haven't read a book in months; I regularly fail to perform bare minimum hygiene. The only reason I'm able to keep alive at all is because I haven't moved out of my parents' house, burdening them with helping me. It would be understandable if I was living hand to mouth and had barely any free time, but I am one of the small percent of burgers who isn't a month away from destitution and I have more than enough free time. Not to mention I receive no shortage of help.
Since I can't blame my material circumstances, I can only conclude that I am this way because I always refuse to take personal responsibility. I know that changing myself so that I can be, at bare minimum, not a drain on society is going to take a lot of work, work that I always put off due to cowardice. Idealist as it is, I feel like I have some innate metaphysical trait that makes me this way, and the entirety of my failure to pick myself up is due to a moral failing on my part and nothing more.
How do I force myself to unfuck myself so that I can actually be useful for revolution instead of yet another useless first world lotus eater?
I empathise with so much of this.
Except: stop being hard on yourself for not meeting some threshold of usefulness to revolution. You're in burgerland. The fact that you have class consciousness is already a W. Maybe in alternate timelines there's versions of you with higher paying jobs, paying their mortgages or maybe even owning property and driving a car. I guarantee to you all those versions of you are libs, and if any of them have class consciousness they're either capitalists or they're in denial about it. Those other versions might look like they're individually winning, but they're contributing less to humanity winning than you are.
You're a commie in burgerland. You're no coward. The currents of capitalism are so strong that it takes more work for you to stand still than it does for libs to swim in the direction they think is 'forward'.
When this storm passes, consider doing some self-crit about this self-hate. There's a lot of good advice in this thread but you're the only one who truly understands your circumstances enough to know which advice is the best for you, and you're the only one who can choose to follow it.